In Milton style, I will take some perfectly sensible, simple stuff, and add in as many words as possible (some of which make no sense) so that one will need a degree (make that a doctorate) in ancient literature to decipher.
So, I shall take this:Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone?
- Oh where, oh where can he be?
- Oh where, oh where is he?
And rewrite it a la Milton (explanations to some of the more incongruous words follow):
- Like clouds that over yon mountain Have cleaved their way and n’er seen again To fill my heart with woe. No less than the Algea,* or Oizys,* I fear to reach the wretched Penthos.* Yeah, I search for the spirit small, Who brought all manner of mirth and joy, Like Kharites* frollicking over Shepherds’ glen, Beneath Jove’s heavenly jollity. Again, I beseach, oh ceraphs heavenly Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone? That ran in days of yore in yonder fields Frolicking amongst the wheat sheaves shorn. And purple Lupines, and white crowned Daisies, Nodding buds of bashful lilac Cyclamen, Carmine-hued Buttercups, and titian Poppies, All mourning now for he is come no more. I lament to heavens, my plea n’er ending, Oh where, Zeus above, cans’t though not see Oh where, oh where my little doggie be? And for him that knowest not The precious urchin’s countenance Pray listen to enlightened day: For he can eat of hidden manna,* And receive his new milky crag* With epithet* of new — no matter That when babe no less, were Hewn sweet aural appendages In manner of the fashion there. But cynosura* had he, not decurtate* Yet flowing like Pegausus’ wagger, And though not as the Ouroborus,* It waved and caught the whisking zephyrs Waving high like of Thesus’s* ships. Pray, search for me, for I am broke of heart And dismal future thinks me not to part For I cans’t live without my doggie wee, Oh, where, oh where is he?
- *SOME EXPLANATIONS
First of all, don’t think I “knew” all this stuff. I just Googled “tails in Greek literature” or whatever, to see what I could come across. Made much use of the Thesaurus too! I also made up some words. Why not?
THE ALGEA were the spirits (daimones) of pain and suffering (of both body and mind), grief, sorrow and distress. They were the bringers of weeping and tears.
The Algea were related to Oizys, the milder spirit of misery and sadness, and Penthos the god of mourning and lamentation.
Their opposite number were Hedone (Pleasure) and the Kharites (Joys).
He that has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says unto the churches; To him that overcomes will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knows except him who receives it. (REVELATIONS 2:17)
Crag – stone
Cynosura – dog’s tail: according to folk etymology and the myth, Kynosoura is from κυνὸς οὐρά “dog’s tail.
Decurtate – (obsolete) to shorten
Ouroboros – a tail-eating snake
Theseus’s ships – sails aloft
- Other words….look ’em up.