Taylor Mali – A gifted poet. The the impotence of proofreading.

Taylor Mali is a teacher and poet with a number of really wonderful videos on YouTube. One that I am sure all editors and proofreaders will enjoy is this one:

The the Impotence of Proofreading.

Here is the text.

The the Impotence of Proofreading
By Taylor Mali

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very, very  horde on a paper for English clash
And still get a very glow raid on it (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the liverwurst spoiler in the whale wide word.
Yes, proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

Now, this is a problem that affects manly, manly students all over the word.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English torturer in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, she said that  I was never going to get into a good colleague.
And that’s all I wanted, that’s all any kid wants at that age, just to get into a good colleague.
And not just anal community colleague, either,
because I am not the kind of guy who would be happy at just anal community colleague.

I need to be challenged; challenged menstrually.
I need a place that can offer me intellectual simulation,

So I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really felt that I could get into an ivory legal colleague.
So I if I did not  improvement,
then gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(you know, in Prison, New Jersey).

So, I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can’t can’t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave out word,
your spell chequer won’t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov may end up using a word
that  you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because, I mean, what do you want it to douche?
You know! No, it only does what you tell it to douche.
You’re the one sitting in front of the computer scream with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
Just goes to show you how embargo
one careless little clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time, during my Junior Mint.
The teacher took the paper that I had writ on A Sale of Two Titties,

No, I’m cereal, I am cereal. She read it out loud in front of all of my assmates.
It was, quite possibly one of  the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at like that, pubicly.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing of your own work. No prostitute whatsoever.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

5 Responses to “Taylor Mali – A gifted poet. The the impotence of proofreading.”

  1. Todd Miller Says:

    I read your book. I am a retired teacher…now Substitute.
    Thought of your book when I wrote this;

    The man that I am met the child that I was
    And the two of them talked together.
    Now I regret that they ever met,
    They couldn’t agree on the weather.

    They couldn’t agree on the time of day,
    They couldn’t agree on the night,
    There wasn’t a thing that one would say,
    That the other would think was right.

    “I’m a bird, I’m a plane”, the little boy said,
    Just watch me as I fly.
    The old man frowned and shook his head,
    And answered, “that’s a lie”.

    The child then stared in fear and awe,
    And cried, “you know it’s true,
    You watched me and I’m sure you saw,
    How fast and far I flew.”

    The old man answered, “Listen son,
    Please don’t be a fool.,
    The time for nonsense now is done,
    And you must go to school.”

    Thus he heard he wasn’t a bird,
    They proved he wasn’t a plane.
    And though he tried, as we all have tried,
    He never flew again.

    Right from the start,
    They stood apart,
    They never saw eye-to-eye,
    The little boy with innocent joy,
    And the old man who couldn’t fly.

    So, you old men, please leave intact,
    The many joys around you,
    It only takes one cold, hard fact,
    To destroy the boy who found you.

  2. Teaching (with a little bit of trickery?) « JB Blackford Says:

    […] were engaged, amused, and thankful for the resource. Sometimes, they also found it helpful to read along in order to really understand and get the most out of what Mali says. In some ways, this humorous […]

  3. It’s beginning to look a lot like National Grammar Day | Mighty Red Pen Says:

    […] if you’ve never seen this piece by poet Taylor Mali, then you’ll want to check out “The The Impotence of Proofreading,” like, now. H/t to David for […]

  4. Marjorie Turner Says:

    Nice share! It’s good to see such a appealing write-up regarding copy editing and proofreading. Thank you.

  5. melisanyc Says:

    This had me in stitches. ❤ Taylor Mali! Here's an interview Kerri Lowe did with Taylor: http://www.storyshelter.com/blog/spoken-word-taylor-mali/

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